And THIS was… a pretty good start to what many bloggers and critics had been calling one of the least interesting collection of contestants in years.  I had my doubts, especially watching some of the performances from the past three weeks and scratching my head in confusion over the voting (Lilly Scott, we miss you).  But after sitting through an entertaining two hours of Stones covers that were far more original and inventive than anyone had the right to expect, count me among the supporters instead of the detractors.

I know people who never watch any of the earlier rounds and only tune in when the Top 12 take the stage.  I imagine those folks tuned in last night and thought to themselves, “Hmm… lots of talent this year.”  For those of us who had been here for the entire season I am sure I’m not alone in thinking the same thing, only with a bit more surprise in the mental voice.  You know it’s been a good night when the worst performance of the night was also the most imaginative and risk-taking.  No one was god-awful (which has happened in many other Top 12’s), most everyone was quite good, and then there was Siobhan.

We’ll get to her in a moment.  Trust me.

But before I take you on Idol’s musical journey through the collected works of Jagger & Richards, let’s pause for a few Notes to the Producers™.

1)      When a contestant is playing an instrument, please turn the volume up so the rest of the country can hear.  My eyes told me that Casey was playing what looked like some very mean slide guitar, but it was almost completely drowned out by the Idol Band.  We could hear Crystal’s guitar a bit better, but not much.

2)      No more camera angles through the mindlessly swaying hands of the front section of fans.  I want to see the contestants, not the backs of hands that can’t even sway to any semblance of a beat.

3)      Enough with the fake animosity between Simon and Ryan.  That wasn’t funny in Season 2 and hasn’t gotten any better in the ensuing years.

As for the actual reason we watch the show—the contestants, not the judges—there was a lot of good performances to write about from last night.  I came up with four categories to break everyone down into: “Wow!”, “Get Comfortable, You’re Going To Be Here A While”, “Not Bad, Not Bad At All” and “Great Idea, But…”

Wow!

Yes, I’m talking about the star-making moment that was Siobhan Magnus’ “Paint It Black”.  Of all the performances last night, Siobhan more so than anyone else truly got into the heart and soul of the song she picked. From the red lit stage entrance and the painful longing to the full-throated Adam Lambertesque climax to the butterfly soft final lines, Siobhan gave us the single best performance of the season.  If they ever make a Rolling Stones musical for Broadway, she’s a shoo-in for a lead role, and I mean that in a good way.  She was so good, I’m even going to give her a pass on snarking about her hair.  Seriously, what’s with the hair?  Okay, I said I’d be good. Moving along…

Get Comfortable, You’re Going To Be Here A While

That would be Michael Lynch and Crystal Bowersox.  I’m thinking that these two, along with Siobhan, could easily be our final three this season, provided none of them stumble badly.

Big Mike worked his falsetto to good use this week (something I had not thought possible last week), added a very nice R&B swagger to “Miss You” and worked the stage with all the charm and slight edge of cheese that endeared us to Taylor Hicks a few years back.  And remember, folks, Taylor not only won that season, he was never once in the bottom three.  Comparing someone to Taylor is not an insult in the Idolverse.  Plus, Mike showed a better singing voice this week than I’ve heard yet.  I am sure he’s starting to benefit from the vocal coaching provided by the show, and that’s all to our benefit.

Crystal gave another of her patented “Yes, I Can Really Sing” performances with a very nice take on “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”.  It’s like some mad scientist took the DNA from Janis Joplin and mixed it with some from Sheryl Crow and added a few random blonde dreadlocks.  Crystal has the ability to make any material sound fresh, like Crow, and has the unpolished, diamond-in-the-rough appeal of Joplin.  Plus, she brings a nice humility to her patter with the judges.  I loved how she agreed with them about Siobhan and thanked Simon for thinking she had been the front-runner.

Not Bad, Not Bad At All

Didi Benami, who two weeks ago was right at the edge of crumbling completely, has rebounded strongly with steadily more assured performances.  She made a very astute song choice, going with the relatively obscure “Playing With Fire” which was well arranged to show off her voice.  I still think she needs to bring more “umph” to her singing and really start showcasing what appears to be a very good voice, though.  She could make it to the top five if she can really learn to work the stage and get more relaxed.

Katie Stevens, on the other hand, has no problem with her voice or showing us her power.  What she needs to do is to tell both the judges and the wardrobe department that she is not some teenager doll for them to play dress-up with and force into a demo that is completely unsuited for her.  The biggest problem Katie has it that her voice is at least a decade older than she is.  And if she keeps wearing cutesy flower print dresses and curling her hair into long luxurious locks, that disconnect between look and voice is going to hurt her.  She needs to get into a pair of jeans, a simple blouse, pull her hair back and tell everyone she has no interest whatsoever in being the next Miley Cryus or Taylor Swift.

If anyone in Hollywood is working on a new film version of Dick Tracy, I know where they can go to find a great actor for bad guy Mumbles.  Lee Dewyze seemingly swallows at least half of the notes he sings, which I am sure is his style, but is not something I personally enjoy.  He has a great tone to his voice when he sings clearly and shows great potential.  But so far all we’ve really seen is potential (Simon’s cheerleading aside) and are still waiting for something substantial.  He needs to shed his nerves and inherent shyness and ratchet up the energy level soon or he’s going to end up being overshadowed by less vocally talented but more confident contestants.

I’m still not sure what to make of Lacey Brown.  She has a great look, picked a song and arrangement that perfectly suited her rather quirky voice (loved the string quartet), and sang it well.  But “well” isn’t going to be good enough for very long.  She showed us a glimpse of the power behind her voice—which reminded me a bit of Cyndi Lauper—towards the end of “Ruby Tuesday”, but needs to go there a lot more often. Simon’s advice to her about needing to loosen up and stop overthinking things was right on the money.  If she can do that, she could have a good run.  Let’s just hope for her sake, it’s not already too late.

Another contestant that shows sparks of power is Casey James.  He was very strong on the chorus on “It’s All Over Now” but then thinned out during the verses and didn’t bring enough growl and gruff to the song.  He also seemed nailed to the stage floor, which never works once we get to the big stage.  I think he has enough fan support, even from people like Ellen (best line of the season, by the way), to keep him in for a week or more, but he’s also got to bring up his game.

As someone who has long made his living by using his voice, I know firsthand how difficult it is to do anything when suffering from laryngitis. To get up on stage and sing “Honky Tonk Woman” with no rehearsal and still nail several difficult power notes is nothing short of astonishing.  What impressed me even more is that Paige Miles seemed uncomfortable with anyone even knowing she was sick and had to have the news practically dragged out of her.  I applaud contestants who want to be judged for what they did, not for what they had to overcome.  I disagree with the judges glowing comments about her stage presence, though.  Merely pacing back and forth while holding the microphone in a death grip is not presence.

In fact, it’s rather surprising the microphone even worked after the earlier death grip Andrew Garcia had it in during his guitar-free performance of “Gimme Shelter”.  He was hanging onto the microphone and stand like it was a life preserver thrown from the Titanic. Most likely because he had no idea what to do with his hands without a guitar in them.  Which worked against him, not only because it gave up one of his strengths, but also showed off his rather limited vocal range.  Even so, he gave it a good effort and once he got into the chorus showed some nice power and intensity.

Last week, I wrote about the seeming disconnect between studio and television.  It was obvious last week that Big Mike sounded a whole lot better in person than he did over the TV speakers, going solely by the reaction of the judges.  I am thinking the same thing happened this week with Aaron Kelly.  I thought “Angie” was a good choice for him and his voice and that he showed a lot more comfort on stage, but wasn’t overly enthused at all.  In fact, my wife lost all interest and found it excruciatingly boring.  I don’t think he was that bad, but he certainly didn’t come across nearly as well as the judges would have us think.  I think the main part of why his performance left me flat was that it was the least imaginative interpretation of the night, borderline karaoke.

Great Idea, But…

Which brings us to the most imaginative interpretation of the night.  Tim “Thanks Golightly For Lying About Your Contract” Urban decided to throw all caution to the wind and dance on the edge with a reggae version of “Under My Thumb”.  A bold choice and a very good idea… for Jason Castro.  Unfortunately for Tim, he is about as Jamaican as Santa Claus.  His voice is just completely unsuited for that type of music, and it was rather amusing to see everything come crashing down as he gamely tried to channel his inner Bob Marley to no avail.  But even as bad as it was—and let’s be honest here, it was truly atrocious—he does get 100 bonus points for taking the single biggest risk of the evening.

Grades, And Who’s Going Home

Grades were easy this week, predictions not so much…

Siobhan Magnus – A plus
Crystal Bowersox – A
Michael Lynche – A
Didi Benami – B
Katie Stevens – B
Lee Dewyze – C plus
Lacey Brown – C
Casey James – C
Paige Miles – C
Aaron Kelly – C
Andrew Garcia – C minus
Tim Urban – A for concept, D for execution

Bottom Three: Tim Urban, Andrew Garcia, Lacey Brown

Going home: Tim Urban

This event will start at 10:00 a.m. and is expected to last about two hours.  Other participants in this important event include:  Boy Scouts of America, the fire department’s Young Citizens Academy, Miller-Motte Technical College, Fraternal Order of Firefighters, Chattanooga Firefighters Association – Local 820, and the International Association of Black Professional Firefighters.

This event coincides with the weekend when you change your clocks forward one hour to Daylight Saving Time before you go to bed on Saturday.  The Chattanooga Fire Department encourages everyone to change the batteries in their smoke alarms at least once each year.  An easy way to remember is to change these batteries when you change your clocks.

Facts on Smoke Alarms:

Smoke alarms are the residential fire safety success story of the past quarter century. Smoke alarm technology has been around since the 1960s. But the single-station, battery-powered smoke alarm we know today became available to consumers in the 1970s, and since then, the home fire death rate has been reduced by half. The National Fire Protection Association (NFPA) estimates that 94% of U.S. homes have at least one smoke alarm today, and most states have laws requiring them in residential dwellings.

Important: Working smoke alarms are essential in every household. It is necessary to practice home fire drills to be certain everyone is familiar with the smoke alarm signal, and to determine if there are any obstacles to a quick and safe evacuation (including the inability for some to awaken to the smoke alarm signal).

Facts & Figures

* 15 of every 16 homes (94%) in the U.S. have at least one smoke alarm.
* One-half of home fire deaths occur in the 6% of homes with no smoke alarms.
* Homes with smoke alarms (whether or not they are operational) typically have a death rate that is 40-50% less than the rate for homes without alarms.
* In three of every 10 reported fires in homes equipped with smoke alarms, the devices did not work. Households with non-working smoke alarms now outnumber those with no smoke alarms.

Why do smoke alarms fail? Most often because of missing, dead or disconnected batteries.

Installation Tips

Install at least one smoke alarm on every floor of your home (including the basement) and outside each sleeping area. If you sleep with the door closed, NFPA recommends installing smoke alarms inside the room. In new homes, smoke alarms are required in all sleeping rooms, according to the NFPA.

Mount the smoke alarms high on ceilings or walls – remember, smoke rises. Ceiling-mounted alarms should be installed at least four inches away from the nearest wall; wall-mounted alarms should be installed four to 12 inches away from the ceiling. On vaulted ceilings, be sure to mount the alarm at the highest point of the ceiling.
Don’t install smoke alarms near windows, outside doors, or ducts where drafts might interfere with their operation.
Don’t paint your smoke alarms; paint or other decorations could keep them from working when you most need it.

Maintenance Tips

* Test smoke alarms at least once a month by using the alarm’s “test button” or an approved smoke substitute, and  * clean the units in accordance with the manufacturer’s instructions.
* Replace the batteries in your smoke alarms once a year, or as soon as the alarm “chirps,” warning that the battery is low. Hint: schedule battery replacements for the same day you change your clock from daylight to standard time in the fall.
* Regularly vacuuming or dusting your smoke alarm following manufacturer’s instructions can help keep it working properly.
* Replace your smoke alarms once every 10 years.
* Never “borrow” a battery from a smoke alarm.
* Make sure that everyone in your home can hear and recognize the sound of the alarm and knows how to react immediately.
* NFPA recommends that people with hearing impairments install smoke alarms with louder alarm signals and/or strobe lights to alert them to a fire.
* Be sure that the smoke alarm you buy carries the label of an independent testing lab.
* Alarms that are hard-wired to the home’s electrical system should be installed by a qualified electrician.

The simple fact about last night that puts it all into perspective is that best performance (actual performance, not massively over-hyped, tears a’ flowing performance) came from a contestant who didn’t even make the original Top 24.  Reality check to the guys – when Tim Urban out sings all of you, this is not a harbinger of good things to come.

Let me get this out of the way right up front.  I like Michael Lynche.  I think he’s very entertaining.  But his cover of Maxwell’s “This Woman’s Work” (which was actually a Kate Bush song that was covered by Maxwell) was not the best of the night, much less of the season, as you would have thought from the reaction of the judges.  I’m not going to snark about Kara being reduced to tears – people react to music at an emotional level, which is why it is so important.  Something in the song touched Kara, obviously, but when she watched the show back last night, something tells me she might have been a bit more dry-eyed.  It was good, but it wasn’t that good.

The fact is only two of the judges were around the first time we saw a hugely likable, outgoing contestant with great stage presence and a rather soulful (if limited) voice.  What Kara and Ellen are seeing for the first time in person is what we all saw several years ago, and what we are seeing again in Season Nine: the return of Taylor Hicks.  As I was watching Big Mike, I suddenly realized the only thing missing was a few “woo’s” and a shout out of “Soul Patrol!” to complete the transformation.  Well, that and a silver wig.  We’ve been down this path before, all the way to the finals… and look what it got us.  As likable, fun, and entertaining as Big Mike is, he is not the contestant the judges want us to believe he is. They act as if he’s a threat to Crystal and Siobhan, while I am seeing a fifth place finish, at best.  Lower if he tries that falsetto again.

As for the rest of the Top 8, once again we are able to separate them into three distinct categories, only not as superlative as Tuesday night: The Good, The Merely Decent, and One Of You Is Going To Make The Top 12 In Spite Of Your Singing.

The Good

Tim Urban, as we all know, was a last minute replacement for the Top 24.  His first performance was so dreadful, I think people voted for him out of sympathy or humor (“How bad could it be next week if we leave him in?”).  Last week, he improved 100 percent, showing a bit more confidence and musical ability.  This week, he took the biggest risk of the year, picking the Jeff Buckley version of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, which not only is a fiendishly difficult song to sing, but was also performed so well by Jason Castro just a few seasons ago.  Yes, with big risks often come big rewards, and this was hands down the most surprising performance this season.  The also-ran is now headed for a Top 12 slot, something almost no one would have predicted just three weeks ago.

Yes, I know I crashed Big Mike’s party already, but his actual performance wasn’t all the bad.  It wasn’t worthy of the sheer overblown hype, but it was decent and there is no more obvious lock for the Top 12 than Michael.  So he gets in the good category, in spite of that horrible false… okay, I’ll shut up about it now.

The Merely Decent

One of the main reasons reporters are trained to take notes is in case something slips our mind later on.  Such as Lee Dewyze’s entire performance. I had to refer back to my notes to remember what he sang (“Fireflies”) and how he did (okay).  It doesn’t say a whole lot that he so completely slipped out of my Idol-obsessed memory not an hour after the show ended.  The biggest reason I think it happened, once again taken from my notes, is that he did nothing to the song other than add a rock beat.  It was basically “kararocky” instead of karaoke.  And yes, Ellen, pitch does matter, even in the Top 16.  Especially in the Top 16.

The more I see of my early favorite Andrew Garcia, the more I am thinking that he is a one trick pony.  If he wants to go any distance in the competition, he needs to move beyond the “rework a female song by using my acoustic guitar” approach and show us he has something else to offer musically.  He needed a “wow” moment last night, and instead gave us “meh…okay”. Plus, he gets a half point off his grade for being the first contestant to mention his “fans” during the after performance chit-chat with Ryan.

Casey James made a good song choice for his voice, Keith Urban’s lovely “You’ll Think Of Me”, and another good choice in putting the electric guitar away and letting his vocals take center stage.  What didn’t work as well as it should have was his delivery of the song.  This is a love song where the lyrics need to be caressed vocally, not rushed or clipped.  It’s almost as if Casey was trying so hard to remember the words that he forget what he was singing about.  Still, it was vocally a marked improvement over last week and he’s definitely got enough talent to be a worthy member of the Top 12.

One of the more polarizing contestants this season has been Todrick Hall.  The singer-dancer who is known as much for his Dr. Frankensteinish complete rearrangement of songs (“It’s alive!  It’s alive!”) as he is for his actual singing, aimed for the stars… and made a decent effort.  Like Tim Urban before him, I was prepared for disaster on learning what he was going to sing.  I have only heard one other man sing Queen’s “Somebody To Love” as well as Freddie Mercury, and that was George Michael.  Todrick is not even close to that class.  Yet, he added some gospel elements, restrained himself as best he could in not changing up the entire melody, and most importantly brought some much-needed energy to a show that should have been sponsored by Ambien.  Not great, but also not even close to the expected disaster.

One Of You Is Going To Make The Top 12 In Spite Of Your Singing

I know I only have two contestants left to review – Alex “I Think I’m In Trouble” Lambert and Aaron “What’s A Key And Why Should I Be In It?” Kelly – but even though I gave them both bad grades, I have a sneaking suspicion that one of them will be safe tonight while a more deserving singer will be cut.  Which is sad, because neither Alex nor Aaron gave us any reason to think they will last longer than a week or so even if they make the Top 12.

Alex made a terrible song choice and couldn’t have been any stiffer had he been in an Old Navy commercial, while Aaron not only made a bad song choice, he made a bad key choice, one that was way too low for his voice and left him fighting all the way through.  It was if they both had regressed to week one and let their nerves overwhelm them.  But do not be surprised to see a real “shocking elimination” tonight based more on personal appeal than actual singing ability.  But hey, that’s Idol.  The insanity is half of the reason why we watch.

So, to recap, here are my grades:

Tim Urban – B plus
Michael Lynche – B minus
Casey James – C plus
Todrick Hall – C plus
Lee Dewyze – C minus
Andrew Garcia – C minus
Alex Lambert – D plus
Aaron Kelly – D

Lilly Scott. Strange. Crystal Bowersox. Powerful.  Siobhan Magnus. Strange and powerful.  Plus, when you add in the weirdness that is the vocal tones of Lacey Bowen and Didi Benami, we have a group that will hopefully be able to provide a far more interesting stamp to Season Nine than could have been expected just a few weeks ago.

It’s just a shame that Fox felt it was better to shortchange the number one show on television in a rushed, no-time-for-getting-to-know-the-contestants-and-here’s-another-commercial, scant hour of airtime for the top eight.  Is Glee really that important that it couldn’t wait another week to re-debut? There aren’t enough contestants left to justify two hours, but would 90 minutes have been too much to ask for? It’s not that Fox doesn’t have a handful of half-hour shows that could have aired after Idol.  Such as any of their Sunday animated prime-time offerings, or, heck, even a half-hour of Cops just to remind everyone that, yes, that show is still on the air.

On the positive side, it did mean less (but not a complete absence) of judge antics and badly scripted host banter with the panel.  It also forced the judges (Kara) to not ramble on as long as normal (Kara) with their patented what-is-she-talking-about “critiques” (Kara).  Not that there was a whole lot for the judges to do this week, as the performances fell into three distinct categories: The Very Good, The Acceptable, and The Two Of You Are Going Home.

The Very Good

Okay, so maybe Crystal Bowersox isn’t the greatest electric guitar player in the world.  That’s okay, and it was nice to see the “please-don’t-let-me-screw-up” look of concentration on her face at the beginning of her take on Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason”.  And that’s the only even remotely negative thing I could think of about her performance.  She puts it all into her voice and phrasing, especially that very nice vocal zig-zag at the end that finished with an amusingly muted “Hell yeah!”  I also love, and am rather amazed, at how relaxed she appears.  Sitting down on her guitar amp to listen to the judging, not even wagging her fingers with the number to call, and the rather goofy back-and-forth she’s developing with Ryan all show a new and comfortable confidence.  Of course, if your primary worry is your own health, maybe a television show doesn’t seem as high on the list of things to stress about.

Then there’s Siobhan Magnus.  She also doesn’t appear to be all that worried, but it may be because she is still inhabiting Planet Magnus, not Planet Earth.  At least this week, someone from Planet Earth apparently helped her pick out her wardrobe, and did a nice job of it as well.  That said, once Siobhan started singing, what she was wearing no longer mattered.  I love the a cappella opening to the Animals’ classic “House Of The Rising Sun”, and it got better from there.  She has an amazingly clear voice, some serious power, and a very enjoyable tone.  Too bad for her, Simon Cowell had apparently been listening to an entirely different version of the song than anyone else ever has when he said she hadn’t changed the tune at all.  Simon, Eric Burdon is on line one, and he wants a word with you…

The Acceptable

After last week’s verbal flagellation by the judges, Didi Benami easily could have crawled under a sound board somewhere and refused to ever come out again. Instead, she took the advice to get back to her sing-songwriter roots, brought out her guitar and gave us a rather interesting (if far to0 slooooooow) version of Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon”.  It was a good song choice for Didi and very likely propelled her into the Top 12.  I do wish, though, that someone on the Idol set would find the mute button for the backupfront singers.  It’s as if those three ladies feel it imperative to drown out the contestants.  Crystal and Siobhan have strong enough voices to handle them, but it’s really a disservice to the rest of the group.

Lacey Brown also has made a comeback from near disaster (I’m still trying to eradicate the memory of her cover of “Landslide”) and finally found a song that fits her voice, goes with her personality, and that she can sing in key all the way through.  Though complimenting someone this far along in the competition for singing in key is not something to get excited about.  It should be the bare minimum acceptable, but that’s been Season Nine for us, at least so far.  What worries me about Lacey is that her voice, which borders very close to being too “cutesy”, isn’t appealing enough to more than a small segment of Idol voters.  I think she’ll make the Top 12, but wonder how much further she’ll get.

Which is the same worry I have for Katelyn Epperly.  She is still struggling with song choice and figuring out who she is musically (and what to do with her hair each week).  Choosing Coldplay last week was a very good risk.  Carole King this week, not so much.  King has a very gruff and gravely tone to her voice that made songs like “I Feel The Earth Move” cut right through the AM radio speakers of the early ‘70’s.  Katelyn’s voice has none of that and is, in fact, far too clean and pure to tackle such a bluesy romp.  The most karaoke performance of the night, but it should be enough to get her through at least another week.

The Two Of You Are Going Home

That would be Katie “I’m Not Kelly Clarkson” Stevens and Paige “What Century Is This?” Miles.  Katie showed no stage presence, looked half asleep while singing, and turned Kelly Clarkson’s “Breakway” into some somber zombie-influenced flat noted bomb.  As for Paige, I’m thinking she somehow thought it was open mic night at the Blue Note with her utterly perplexing choice of Charlie Chaplin’s “Smile”.  Her voice was way too thin for such a big song, the arrangement was terrible (bossanova?), and she gave those of us watching no reason to pick up the phone and vote for her.

So that’s it…wait, what did you say?  I forgot someone? Oh yeah…

“What The… Was That All About?”

I had to create a fourth category just for Lilly Scott.  Mandolin in hand, platinum hair gleaming, face scrunched into facial expressions not normally seen outside of a dentist’s office, Lilly gave one of the weirdest performances on Idol since Megan Joy tweet-tweeted her way through “Rockin’ Robin” last season.  A truly bizarre song choice with Patsy Cline’s “I Fall To Pieces” and an even weirder arrangement and delivery.  It wasn’t bad, far from it.  But it was so truly weird, that I was at a complete loss on how to grade Lilly.  She’s completely safe for the Top 12, of course, but wow… I hope she got that out of her system once and for all.

So here are my final grades for the night:

Crystal Bowersox – A
Siobhan Magnus – A
Didi Benami – B minus
Lacey Brown – C plus
Katelyn Epperly – C minus
Katie Stevens – D
Paige Miles – D

And Lilly Scott gets her own special grade of W, as in “What the…?”

Okay, so maybe I’m getting a bit carried away.  After all, it’s only the second week of the semi-finals (when the sexes go head-to-head is what I consider to be the finals), and a lot can happen between here and a hair full of confetti a few months from now.  But if my crystal ball is in working order, and it was in good shape last season, I feel a good bit of confidence that Crystal will be on that Kodak Theater stage for the finale.

Let’s not beat around the bush, the girl can flat out, no doubt, sing.  If she’s a “subway station singer” as Simon now-famously labeled her last week, I want to find that station and buy an annual pass.  Add in her obvious toughness in coming back to the stage still visibly weakened for a dangerous diabetic incident the day before, combined with her complete disinterest in playing that up for votes (something very few other contestants would have been able to pass up), multiplied by a perfect song choice and arrangement, and we have our first “Idol Moment” of the season.

No apologies to Andrew Garcia and “Straight Up”, but there’s a difference between a tasty appetizer and full entrée.  There are many times when I find myself wishing some contestants weren’t allowed even their full 90 seconds, but there are also times when I curse Fox and their limitations on song length.  I would happily have traded the time of Haeley Vaughn, Didi Benami and Michelle Delamore to give Crystal time to fully flesh out her gospelized take on Creedence Clearwater Revival’s ”As Long As I Can See The Light”.  It was a transcendent moment for both Bowersox and for Idol.  This season has been lacking a focus, and with a simple stand up performance with subtle guitar work and some surprisingly tasteful work from the Idol band, we found our new star.

Not to say that this is a one horse race.  I would not be surprised to see a final three involving Crystal, Lilly, and the surprising and delightfully whacked-out Siobhan Magnus.  I would be even more happy to see this because it would finally break the “next Kelly Clarkson/Carrie Underwood” mold that Idol producers have been trying to cram most of the female contestants into for the past several years. And trust me, none of these three ladies has anything in common with Kelly and Carrie  other than gender and the fact that all five of them have unique and interesting voices.

Lilly, with her big flashy feathery earrings and shock of platinum white hair comes across like that intriguing girl at the end of the bar waiting for her chance to take the stage on open mic night.  The one that then makes every other performer in the place pay attention.  It’s not that she has the most powerful voice of the group, or that she has the strongest stage presence.  She’s not even the weirdest one, which probably surprises her more than anything.  What she does have is one of the more interesting and unusual voices we’ve heard on Idol in several years. And anyone brave enough to tackle Sam Cooke and, more importantly, pull it off gets a lot of credit in my Idol scorebook.

Which us brings up the third member of the ladies trio, Siobhan.  It’s as if Jason Castro had cut off his dreadlocks, had a sex change, and took up glass blowing.  She’s that far out in left field.  And it’s wonderful.  Her wide-eyed innocence and subtle confusion of the entire process — “I learned to hit that note by singing along with Kelly Clarkson in the shower,” never realizing that Kelly probably could only dream of hitting that full throated glory note at the end of Siobhan’s performance — not only confuses Simon, which is always fun to see, but is endearing her ever more to the voters.  And while I have long thought that Aretha Franklin should be one of the “untouchables” when it comes to Idol, let’s give credit where credit is due.  Siobhan, with that one unforgettable note, made it all work.

So, what about the rest of the ladies?  Yeah, I know, it wouldn’t be fair to focus on just the best and ignore the rest, so here’s my take on the rest of last evening’s performances.

Katelyn Epperly – a slooooooooow but surprisingly powerful version of Coldplay’s “The Scientist”, featuring the first piano performance of the year.  A fact that, amusingly, escaped the notice of Ellen Degeneres. Katelyn has a very good voice, and could go pretty far this season. Grade: B

Lacey Brown – Kara was right about song choice.  Lacey’s take on Sixpence None The Richer’s “Kiss Me” was the right song and the right performance.  Sure, it wasn’t a re-working of the original, but Randy Jackson needs to make us his mind about his ever-more-irrelevant conflicting advice about how to arrange songs.  And as a side note, writing “Kara was right” is just truly odd. Grade: B

Katie Stevens – The Kissing Booth Princess, just pick your language.  Goofiness aside, she has an interesting tone to her voice, which she showed up to decent advantage with Corinne Bailey Rae’s “Put Your Records On”.  However, the biggest problem I’m having with Katie is that her voice simply does not match her look.  We don’t expect such a mature voice from such a cutesy, cheerleader type teenager.  Grade: B-

Paige Miles – Note to contestants: avoid the temptation to sing the songs of former Idolists.  Especially if the song was written by the one of the current judges, who will then school you in how you have no idea what your singing about.  Too bad Paige didn’t take my advice.  Of course, it wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t rushed the song, been on key the entire time, and wasn’t so forgettable.  It wasn’t a disaster, but it was just so-so.  Grade: C-

Haeley Vaughn – Is she still here?  Why?  Any contestant who picks a Miley Cyrus song should be immediately booted from the competition.  No exceptions.  To be honest, Haeley got off to a halfway decent start to the song, but within about 20 seconds it had turned into a near complete disaster.  I would not surprised to see her go home tonight.  Grade: D

Michelle Delamor – The clothes.  The Creed song.  The painfully bad end note.  For that matter, the beginning and middle of the song.  It all adds up to a complete and utter mess, to borrow one of Simon’s favorite descriptions of performances that go off the rails.  And I loved how when the director tried to locate Vera Wang in the audience, as if to give a stamp of approval to Michelle’s terrible fashion choice, Vera did her best to hide.  Smart lady.  Grade: D

Didi Benami – There are many things I could say about her karaoke-bad performance of “Lean On Me”: the wrong key, the off notes, the lack of any passion, etc.  But what really mattered was that Didi, an obviously sweet girl, is just not emotionally tough enough for either this competition or the music business itself.  If Simon Cowell makes you choke up with barely-held back tears, I hate to tell you that he’s one of the nicer ones in the business.  You need a tough skin to survive in the ultra-competitive music business, something that Didi just doesn’t have.  Grade: D-

So, to recap:

Crystal Bowersox – A plus
Lilly Scott – A
Siobhan Magnus – A minus
Lacey Brown – B
Katelyn Epperly – B
Katie Stevens – B minus
Paige Miles – C minus
Haeley Vaughn – D
Michelle Delamor – D
Didi Benami – D minus

Turns out Mamasox had been rushed to an L.A. hospital early in the day suffering from what insiders say were complications from diabetes.  So Fox did the right thing and switched the schedule, giving all the contestants a taste of the real entertainment world, where last minute changes are all too common.  It’s a valuable lesson: learn to be prepared at all times, for you never know when you’ll be called on to perform at a moment’s notice.

As it was, losing a day of rehearsal didn’t seem to negatively affect the guys.  In fact, this week’s show was a vast improvement over the previous week (with a few exceptions) and gave me renewed hope that the blogosphere’s condemnations of this being the “Worst Idol Season Evar!!!” were a bit premature.

I’ll get to the performances in a moment, but first I want to hand out a few gold stars to the Idol producers.  Normally, I am far more of a critic of their failures and foibles and often outright manipulations of the casting of the show, but last night they did something I have been calling on them to do for years.  They took time away from the judges and gave it where it belongs: with the contestants themselves.

The pre-performance packages allowed us to get to know each of the Top 10 quite a bit better, not just the usual “what you didn’t know about me” but also their thoughts and reactions to their week one performances as well as some interesting insights into their personalities, both good and bad.  For contestants such as John Park, Tim Urban and Alex Lambert, this is really the first time we’ve gotten to know anything about them, due to their almost complete lack of pre-Top 24 screen time.  The more we know about each contestant, the better it is for them and for us.  We become more invested in them as an audience, and they get to put a personality to their 866 number.

Though it must be said, hearing Randy Jackson tell a contestant that he liked their package just sounds wrong.

Another kudo to Idol producers is that they either figured out their audio problems from last week or hired a new sound engineer.  This time around, the music and vocal mixes were much better.  Now if we could just convince the director to stop showing reaction shots of the judges when they are doing their best imitations of inanimate objects, then things would be nigh well perfect.  But we can’t always get what we want…

But sometimes we get what we need.

And what we needed was a strong start, which we got from Mr. Personality Michael Lynche.  Turns out the hulking ex-high school football player was a drama geek. Shades of Michael Clarke Duncan.  Easily the most likeable of all the guys, Big Mike came out with confidence, great stage presence and a superb song choice in James Brown’s “It’s a Man’s World”.  Easily his best performance to date, and what ended up being the best performance of the night.  Yet… I realized even as he was singing that as good as he was, I had a feeling that this was the best he could do and that in the long run it wouldn’t be good enough.  He picked a song that fit his strengths and yet at the same time showed how limited those strengths were.  He doesn’t have a very wide vocal range, his voice is at times surprisingly thin, and while charisma can carry you a long way, there are at least a good half dozen other singers in the Top 20 who have much better vocal chops.  I believe he is an absolute lock for the Top 10, but also believe he has virtually no chance of winning.  As it was, it was a big man’s world last night, and for that, I give him an A minus, the first (and only) A grade of the night, and only third I’ve handed out so far this season.

John Park was up next, in what turned out to be a rather surreal moment for me.  I’ve just started working in the studio on a new album of my own, and last week laid down a few demo tracks, including a cover of John Mayer’s “Gravity”.  So to see John come out and do the exact same song took me a bit out of my critic mode.  What I did realize, though, was that John didn’t seem to understand the song itself.  It’s an old fashioned blues song that calls for gruff and growl and some heartache.  What we got was a bit too clean, too middle of the road.  There wasn’t anything special about his take on the song, and while it certainly wasn’t bad, Simon may be right in that this could be John’s last week. He gets a workmanlike C, neither good nor bad.  The question is will it be good enough?

Ever since Idol changed the rules to allow contestants to play instruments, I’ve been waiting for a real guitarist to make it to the finals.  Sure, David Cook had his moments, and Kris Allen did some nice keyboard work last season, and I’ll never forget Jason Castro and his ukulele, but last night was the first time we saw someone just get up and shred.  Too bad for Casey James his vocals weren’t nearly as strong as his guitar playing.  Another strike against him was for picking a song that had already been done several times in past Idol season, and done much better.  Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Wanna Be” is one of those catnip songs that are so hard to resist, yet should be retired from the Idol songbook.  Even so, like most of the performances of the night, it wasn’t bad, just not all that great.  Casey gets an A plus for his guitar playing, but ends up with a final grade of C plus. And we won’t even mention Cougar Kara crumbling her Casey crush.

Last week, I dubbed Alex Lambert “Blandbert” and cringed at his deer-in-the-headlights performance.  This time around, he still struggled to overcome both his lack of personal excitement and his nearly overwhelming stage fright, but we did get to see a bit of why the judges advanced him into the Top 24.  He has an unusual voice when he relaxes enough for us to hear it, and picked a song – John Legend’s “Everybody Knows” – that showed some actual talent.  Plus, his pre-performance package, where he talked openly about his stage fright, helped make him much more likeable. Even so, the best grade I could give him was a C plus.

There is something to be said for confidence.  It takes a lot of it to get up on stage in front of a crowd and perform.  However, every performer needs to be careful of crossing over the confidence line into cocky territory.  Todrick Hall is dancing on that line and need to be very careful to keep his ego in check if he wants to advance farther into the season.  Which may not be that much further if that’s all the dancing he’s going to do.  Why do contestants who are popular for doing something suddenly stop doing what got them to this point?  It makes no sense, and for a dancer like Todrick, staying almost stock still for the first half of his oddly reworked Tina Turner classic “What’s Love Got To Do With It” was a terrible choice. Gene Kelly may have been singing in the rain, but he was dancing too.  Not that Todrick is even in the same hemisphere of talent as Kelly was, but the point remains.  A C minus and hope that if he survives he’ll remember his happy feet next week.

Then there’s Jermaine Sellers.  He didn’t dance over the cocky line, he leaped over it into full-blown diva territory.  His vocal massacre of Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Goin’ On” was a travesty from beginning to end.  His look was terrible (a bow tie, bad sweater and hair ridge?), his arrangement was atrocious, and his vocals were all over the place in key and pitch.  And yet he wanted to argue and bicker with the judges, even going so far as to challenge Simon to go to church.  Jermaine, God may indeed have a plan for you, but my bet is the lesson is all about humility – something you have very little of, if any at all.  It’s all well and good to have faith, but if you think God is going to favor you in American Idol just because you sing in church shows an appalling lack of humility and begs for some well-deserved comeuppance.  An F grade and some remedial Sunday School lessons.  I suggest some light reading, such as Proverbs 11:2.

One of the biggest dangers of Idol is that of high expectations.  When you are all but the anointed front-runner, you basically have to be perfect every week.  Which has not been the case with Andrew Garcia. Like Todrick before him, Andrew inexplicably laid down his signature acoustic guitar and went off-script with James Morrison’s “You Give Me Something”.  Not a good song choice for Andrew, which also did him a disservice by showing a thinness to his voice that had previously been covered up by his guitar.  He needs to get back to “Straight Up” form real soon or the front-runner status may never be reclaimed.  A C minus.

One of the fun games to play each season is “What Kind Of Career While A Contestant Have Post-Idol?”  In the case of Aaron Kelly, I foresee a future in the bright lights of the big city of Nashville.  Country music executives are likely waiting eagerly for Aaron to get voted off so they can scoop him up, take him to Tennessee and stick him into the country hit-making machine.  He has a voice, a look and a personality that are tailor made for country music, and I would not be surprised at all to see him succeed quite well over the next few years if that is the route he ends up taking.  Even though “My Girl” may not have been the best choice of song for him, and even though he’s an unpolished as an old pair of boots, the fact is he has one of the most effortless voices in the entire group of guys.  He gets a B plus and a one-way ticket to the Music City whenever he ends up leaving Idol.

As for Tim Urban, I have no idea what his career holds in store for him – though a starring role in a Great Clips commercial wouldn’t be a bad idea – but I will give credit where credit is due in rating his performance last night as at least 100 percent better than the week before.  He made a much better song choice with Matt Nathanson’s “Come On Get Higher”, and while he didn’t set anyone’s television speakers on fire, it was an overall pleasing performance.  He earned a C minus and the prediction that he’ll be around for at least one more week, something I would have given long odds against just six days ago.

And for the final performance of the night, we get the only real rocker voice amongst the guys this season, the hard-to-figure-out Lee Dewyze who benefited from the “pimp spot”, which producers use to showcase a judge’s favorite.  You didn’t really think the order each week was picked at random, did you?  Since Simon has already labeled Lee the best male singer of the group, which he echoed again last night, it was no surprise to see Lee go last.  What was surprising to me was his choice of song, Hinder’s “Lips Of An Angel”.  While the song ruled the airwaves a few summers ago, it’s not a happy song or even lyrically a very nice song, especially for a female-centric voting audience.  Yet, the fact remains that Lee does have the strongest and one of the most interesting voices amongst the guys, even though at times he sounded more as if was fighting the song than singing it. I wasn’t nearly as taken with him as many others were, so I gave him a C plus.  It would have been a B minus, but his constantly having to hitch up his pants in the same season as “Pants On The Ground” became a viral sensation drops him a half grade.

To recap:

Michael Lynche – A minus
Aaron Kelly – B plus
Casey James – C plus
Alex Lambert – C plus
Lee Dewyze – C plus
John Park – C
Todrick Hall – C minus
Andrew Garcia – C minus
Tim Urban – C minus
Jermaine Sellers – F