Editor’s note: This is part three of Dr. Rick’s series on healthy holidays.

Over the last three weeks of Shrink Rap we’ve been looking at ways to stay healthy, happy, and “on track” during the holidays—the time of year when the temptation is strongest to veer off the wellness path.  This is the third (and final) installment of this series, where we’ll look at practicing good self-care beyond eating right and exercise.

Here’s a quick recap of our tips so far, remembering that:  Thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, and actions create your reality.
1. Visualize.  The first step I suggest to help you get through the holidays healthfully is to picture yourself looking and feeling the way you’ve always wanted.  Being the kind of person you know you can become.  Take your time and be clear about this.  Now hold onto your vision daily; it’s your future.
2. Move that image forward by writing and talking about it—tell at least five people about your dream.  This is turning your thoughts into words.  “Next year I intend to…”
3. Take a practical step by becoming proactive about the season.  For instance, be part of the planning and organizing of events—a way to stay helpful and occupied, while having input into healthy food/drink/activity choices.  Add some fresh-air walking, hiking or biking, an extra yoga class or visit to the gym, and now you’re turning your words into action, and honoring your physical and psychological wellbeing.
4. Food, water, booze, and tea.  There will undoubtedly be overeating involved.  It’s the holidays and you’re human.  So, plan your snacks, making them as healthy as you can.
Also, think water.  Nutritionists say we need the equivalent of an 8-oz glass of water every hour.  Remember that alcohol puts the brakes on things like weight loss, clear thinking, and the ability to make healthy behavioral decisions—such as eating, safe sex, and Hey I’m OK to Drive.  One way to imbibe more healthfully is to drink a glass of water before and between every alcoholic beverage you consume.  Or consider adding seltzer, tonic, or tea to your drinking repertoire during the party.  I find herbal tea is especially great in the evening as it’s both hydrating (helpful if you’ve been drinking alcohol) and calming.  Consider decaf green tea for its antioxidants and relaxation.
Now let’s add this week’s tips for holiday season stress management: staying aware of your goals, and using the season as an opportunity for personal growth.
5. Family dynamics.  There is the family we are born into, and the family we create as we go along.  Who do you enjoy spending time with?  Who helps you feel good about yourself?  I believe in minimizing holiday “obligations” and maximizing enjoyable moments.  In other words, be sure to spend time with those who love and accept you, just as you are.  You have choices in life.  If you give this some creative thought you’ll find ways to be thoughtful of others’ requests while taking care of your own needs.  It needn’t be either/or.
6. Use the power of “NO.”  Also known as “limit-setting.”  Instead of feeling overwhelmed and stressed (and people-pleasing all over the place), what would it be like if you kept your expectations for yourself realistic and sometimes said, “I’m sorry, but no.  I can’t do that this year”?  Think about how you can accomplish this without guilt. Sure, you may risk some momentary disapproval, but you’ll gain a sense of empowerment and self-respect.
7. Use your support system.  Know when to turn to your friends, family, therapist, pen-pal, online buddy…even your beloved pet can be a good listener!  Remember:  You don’t have to handle everything alone.
8. Take breaks for indulgence.  This is my favorite.  Schedule that massage; run a hot bath (for two?), light candles, put on some jazz, and unplug the phone; buy yourself one really great gift; connect with special friends and give the gift of time together—eat out, go to a movie, spend a night at the theatre, take a day trip to the mountains, go camping for the weekend.  It’s so important to prioritize your own wellness, especially during potentially stressful times.  Pause, breathe, meditate, walk, exercise, eat well, sleep well, and help yourself stay healthy before you get pulled off track, sacrificing your personal goals and vision.

You’ve read in this column before that while we cannot always control what happens around us, we can control, or learn to control, how we perceive it, and how we handle it.  Think of it this way:  When we try to control other people or events in our lives, our stress increases.  When we accept those situations that we cannot change, and instead learn to manage our own responses, our stress levels decrease.  It’s about knowing, and accepting, what you can change and what you can’t.

Here’s to staying on track while enjoying a happy, healthy, and fun holiday season!

Until next week, food for thought:  “In the end what matters most is How well did you live, How well did you love, How well did you learn
to let go.” 
— Chinese Proverb