Ask a Mexican
|
The Aztecs Are Taking Over Our Land - Everybody Panic! |
 |
 |
 |
|
Written by Gustavo
|
|
Tuesday, 11 November 2008 22:09 |
Dear Mexican:
In a column some time ago, you mentioned the Aztec prophecy claiming that “their descendants would reclaim ancestral lands in the southwest U.S., and guess what.” I’d appreciate it if you shed a little light on this statement. This is the mythical state of Aztlán your referring to, right? What are its “borders”? How many Mexicans, Mexican-Americans, Central Americans, and indigenous peoples know and/or believe in this? Is there a movement to take over these lands? And how similar is this to the (incorrect) Jews’ claim to the holy land of Israel?
—Texas Truth Seeker
|
|
|
Written by Gustavo
|
|
Wednesday, 05 November 2008 13:47 |
Special Canadian Edition
Dear Readers,
So your presidential candidate lost (congratulations; McBama! Our condolences, O’Cain. Damn early deadlines…), and you can’t bear the thought of living under his reign for the next cuatro years. Fear not: the other side of America’s bullshit sandwich will save you! The Mexican hereby turns this column over to his Canadian fans—but first, a comment about my two-weeks-old column explaining Mexico’s love for Clamato:
Dear Mexican,
It was a true moment of bookending the United States with Mexico and Canada that I read that Mexicans enjoy Clamato the way Canadians do. The True North Strong and Free has a favoured drink (the Caesar) made with Clamato. It is similar to a Bloody Mary, but way, way better—and spicy, to boot! So don’t wonder so much that Mexicans love Clamato, but instead wonder why Americans do not love it as much as both of their neighbours.
— Quebecois Cutie
|
|
Written by Gustavo
|
|
Wednesday, 29 October 2008 18:08 |
Dear Mexican,
I know you’ve been asked variations of this before but I’m going to ask you again anyway. I’m a gay white guy and I’ve had three relationships with Mexican men in the last seven years. Each lasted from three to six months. This past relationship actually lasted a year and culminated with us moving in together for a month before it ended badly. Mexican: I’ve never been treated worse than by the Mexicans I’ve dated—and yet I’ve also never been happier.
When it’s just the two of us, everything is great. But when I’m involved in anything to do with his family, I suddenly don’t exist. Or when we’re out in public, he might cast me aside slightly and others are surprised to find the two of us are dating. “He’s your boyfriend?!” folks exclaim. “He totally ignored you!” Then I answer, “Oh that! Yeah, it’s just a little game we play. Ha.”
My family and friends have never failed to embrace with open arms anyone I’ve dated. But my Mexican boyfriends never seem to know what to do with me. Could they be ashamed of me or themselves? Maybe they have some internalized homophobia going on? Maybe I’m the threat to their family’s structure? This hasn’t resulted in any prejudice on my side. I love and relish Mexican culture and wish my Spanish were better.
The thing is, I had a Mexican guy ask me out recently and I’m wary. Should I run off and find a nice blond white guy with Pottery Barn decor? (ick!). Maybe the candy I’m most attracted to is not good for me? Have I just given myself my own best advice? Should I stick to being friends with Mexican and leave the dating of them to my sister?
— Becoming Wary of the Brown Man
|
|
|
Written by Gustavo
|
|
Wednesday, 22 October 2008 19:14 |
Dear Mexican,
One of our Arizona politicians once said on the PBS show Horizonte that the “crime” of being undocumented in this country is equivalent legally to that of a parking ticket. Do you know where I can verify this statement? So often in the argument over immigration the bottom line for those who are anti-immigrant is that there must be no tolerance for “criminals”. I don’t see people who have gotten a parking ticket as being so bad. I’d like to remind people of the exact legal nature of being undocumented, but want to be sure I know what I’m talking about. Can you help?
— Gringo Who Wouldn’t Be Here if His Grandparents Hadn’t Left Poland
|
|
Written by Gustavo
|
|
Wednesday, 15 October 2008 18:57 |
 Dear Readers:
I don’t like to rerun columns ‘cause it makes me look like a lazy Mexican, but I realize that, as my column invades foreign terrain (Hola Chattanooga!), new readers might not understand some of my running gags. Following, then, are the two most-frequently asked questions about the Mexican’s methodology:
Dear Mexican: A friend of mine calls Mexicans “wabs,” but, being a dumbshit, doesn’t even know what it means—except that it’s not PC. What’s it mean?
—Thesaurusaurus Mex
Dear Gabacho:
“Wab” is a slur that assimilated Mexicans use to describe and deride recently arrived Mexicans. It can be used as a noun (“Refugio is such a wab”), a verb (“Look how that idiot Refugio wabbed up his truck with a bull sticker!”) or even an adjective (“Refugio’s mustache is so wabby”). The etymology of wab is unknown—could either be a mongrelization of “wetback” or “wop.”
But what’s most fascinating about “wab” is that it seems to be a distinctly Orange County term. When I’ve asked various Latino journalists over the years if they’re familiar with the term, most drew blanks. And Lalo Alcaraz, the dean of Chicano comedy, thought it meant “white-ass bitch.” Pinche racist, sexist pocho.
The final word on wab goes to Dr. Armin Schwegler, a professor in UC Irvine’s Department of Spanish and Portuguese who specializes in dialectology and Spanish in the United States. He’s taught at the school for 20 years and drops language trivia like some people default on their house payments—did you know, for instance, that the area from Denver to the Pacific Coast is the largest dialect continuum in the world, meaning Western American English is one boring tongue?
But Schwegler has never heard of wab. He’s not surprised the epithet exists, though. “People always think naively that language is just for communication,” the good doctor told the Mexican. “But language is so important because it’s also an identifier. With wab, you can see this tied into the question of nationhood. It’s rooted in social discrimination. You coin a word, and it circulates around.”
So rejoice, Thesaurusaurus Mex! Wab is all ours! It can now join Barbara Coe; the Costa Mesa-based, Holocaust-denying Institute for Historical Review; and ¡Ask a Mexican! in the Orange County section of the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Hate Watch.
|
|
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 15 October 2008 18:59 )
|
|
|
|
|
<< Start < Prev 1 2 Next > End >>
|
|
Page 1 of 2 |
|
|
