Chattanooga Pulse

Written by Gustavo
Wednesday, 29 October 2008 18:08

Dear Mexican,
I know you’ve been asked variations of this before but I’m going to ask you again anyway. I’m a gay white guy and I’ve had three relationships with Mexican men in the last seven years. Each lasted from three to six months. This past relationship actually lasted a year and culminated with us moving in together for a month before it ended badly. Mexican: I’ve never been treated worse than by the Mexicans I’ve dated-and yet I’ve also never been happier.
When it’s just the two of us, everything is great. But when I’m involved in anything to do with his family, I suddenly don’t exist. Or when we’re out in public, he might cast me aside slightly and others are surprised to find the two of us are dating. “He’s your boyfriend?!” folks exclaim. “He totally ignored you!” Then I answer, “Oh that! Yeah, it’s just a little game we play. Ha.”
My family and friends have never failed to embrace with open arms anyone I’ve dated. But my Mexican boyfriends never seem to know what to do with me. Could they be ashamed of me or themselves? Maybe they have some internalized homophobia going on? Maybe I’m the threat to their family’s structure? This hasn’t resulted in any prejudice on my side. I love and relish Mexican culture and wish my Spanish were better.
The thing is, I had a Mexican guy ask me out recently and I’m wary. Should I run off and find a nice blond white guy with Pottery Barn decor? (ick!). Maybe the candy I’m most attracted to is not good for me? Have I just given myself my own best advice? Should I stick to being friends with Mexican and leave the dating of them to my sister?
- Becoming Wary of the Brown Man