Chattanooga Pulse

Written by Chuck Crowder
Tuesday, 30 December 2008 21:20

It might just be me, but this year there doesn’t seem to be much happening on New Year’s Eve. By now I’ve usually received the party invites or the “scoop” on where to be on that fateful party night. But this year, no one really knows where they party’s get-n stawe-ted. And that concerns me.

Am I missing something? Are we Noogafarrians not in the mood to shake our booties this year? Are we supposed to be so bummed out right now we can’t muster up the hoo-hahs to celebrate the annual tradition of yet another tick on the old Time Clock? Are we Americans in a true “depression,” then?

If so, maybe now’s the perfect time to tie one on (so to speak). We should all be getting “wasted, forgetting” about our problems for one night. This year, we should shepherd in the stroke of midnight 2009 like it was an apocalyptic horseman with saddlebags full of “screw-you’s” and “I-don’t-give-a-crap’s.”

Why? Because we’re bigger than our problems. Sure, our mayor and current president suck, but we’re getting rid of one and we can get rid of the other come March. Sure, the stock market’s in the tank, but we’ve bailed out all of the executives with million-dollar bonuses so now they’ll be inspired to fix it.

Sure, the auto industry is sliding under the table like a kid with a plate full of broccoli, but our man Bob Corker’s fixin’ all of that. And sure, you can’t get an auto or home loan right now to save your life, but the banks will soon figure out that interest equals profits. I mean, they know everything about money, right?