Chattanooga Pulse

Well when my mail finally arrived (see “Going Postal” a few weeks back), it included an envelope with the return address of “Chattanooga Automated Enforcement Program” on it. Yep, I got me one of those camera tickets.

It’s not my first one. I got one for “running” a YELLOW light at the intersection of Signal Mountain Road and Dayton Boulevard. It was just dark enough at the time for me to actually see the flash go off. I knew I was nabbed. But this time the ticket was for speeding on South Broad Street (46 in a 35).

Now, anyone who’s driven down South Broad Street knows that road is three things – flat, straight and long. WHY then, does traffic have to maintain the painfully slow propulsion of 35 miles per hour in order to ensure safety? At that rate of speed the laws of physics prove that it should take no less than 20 minutes to drive the four miles between the Aquarium to Mojo Burrito (with red lights). And that’s just way too long to wait for lunch.

When I saw the date and time of the infraction I remember exactly where I was going and what I was doing. I was late (as usual) meeting my ‘noog t-shirt partners at the Sunday Market but realized I wouldn’t feel like myself that morning without first downing a couple of Krystal Chicks (no mayo). Speed then, was of the essence.

But what “speed?” Forty-six miles per hour? THAT’s speeding? I was waaaay down South Broad about to go under the overpass. It’s not like I was in danger of taking out a couple of concert goers in front of the Tivoli. Shouldn’t the limit be higher the further you go down Broad?

It’s not the crime though. I’m guilty as charged. I just don’t necessarily like the way I was caught. The way I was raised, when you carelessly sped down the street weaving from lane to lane an actual officer of the law was there to pull you over, check for open containers and then give you a verbal lesson in the dangers of excessive vehicular velocity as he scribbled out a ticket (by hand). And if that police officer happened to be napping or talking with another policeman in the car next to him and didn’t notice your car barreling down the road past him, then so be it. At least it was a fair fight.

Nowadays, mechanical crime-fighting camera contraptions are taking over and I for one am suspicious. In the olden days a policeman, if asked, had to produce the speed gun that recorded your speed and show you the number of miles over the limit he clocked or you could contest the ticket (and likely win). No proof, no foul. So when I received my electronic ticket I was a little baffled.

First of all, there was no indication of my speed on the photo itself. The excess was simply stated in the attached letter. In fact, as far as I could tell, my car was going exactly zero miles per hour when the photo was taken. How is a still photo of my car on Broad Street an indication of speeding? Where’s the speed gun results? I wanna see it.

And that red light ticket. Sure, I was past the line when the light turned red, but who’s to say that it wasn’t yellow the split second I passed underneath? What’s the calibration on that camera’s shutter speed? I know that in other parts of the country the timing of the click has been successfully questioned (and adjusted). Maybe ours is a little off as well.

At any rate, law enforcement cameras are, in my opinion, entrapment. It’s a lazy way for the city to make a few extra bucks. And by doing so, they endanger the jobs of good, old-fashioned police officers who you can physically wave to as you roll safely past a yellow light or “go with the flow of traffic” down South Broad Street. I personally know and like several of Chattanooga’s finest. And I certainly don’t want their jobs diminished to the likes of what a Nikon can enforce.

I know, I know. The purpose of the cameras is to leave officers plenty of time to be out fighting REAL crimes, like murders, theft and whatnot. But gone is the thrill of breaking little minor laws that you can get away with. Just think if there had been speed cameras in Hazard County. Beau and Luke wouldn’t have needed the General Lee. And that just makes me sad.