Chattanooga Pulse

On a bit of a whim I was able to take off for the recent Labor Day weekend and drive to one of Tennessee’s beautiful state parks.  I called a friend to meet me, packed up the truck with some provisions (including Betty Lou the wonder pup), and headed out.

I really cherish these little getaways, these wanderings (see last week’s Shrink Rap, “Not All Who Wander Are Lost”), as part of a healthy prescription for mental well-being.  It’s a way to provide balance to living in a hectic world, and perhaps gain some perspective on any build up of worries or concerns that are a natural part of life.  Specifically, I find that little breaks throughout the year can serve to:

Provide some fresh scenery and surroundings in which to exhale and physically de-stress.

Allow for the mind to settle down, to ponder, and let thoughts, creative ideas, and answers arise naturally.

Offer a different way of life, if only for a few days, where there are no concerns about mowing the lawn, running errands, or any of the usual “to-do’s.”
In just a few days I was able to explore nature, eat some hearty Southern cooking, have great conversations, spend quality meditative time alone, enjoy meeting new people, swim, read, and just relax.  It isn’t that I can’t enjoy similar experiences at home, but there’s something about being away that offers a kind of freedom.  Maybe it’s about feeling the permission to “just be”, whatever that may mean at any given moment.  In this moment I want to be a hiker.  Then later I’ll be a reader.  Then a sleeper.  Then…whatever feels good and right in that moment.  Pretty nice, right?

Perhaps we need more of these opportunities for freedom and permission to take a deep breath and ask, “What parts of me haven’t been getting enough of my focus lately, and need some nurturing, or need to come up from the dusty depths for some fresh air?  Are there areas of confusion, worry, sorrow, or pain that I’ve been ignoring?  Have I not been a very good friend to myself?  Can I now give myself a little lovin’, a bit of kindness and attention?  If I don’t do it here and now, if I don’t create the space to love myself, so I can be better at loving others, then when will I?”

I suggest that these kinds of questions are a very worthy use of your time, whether away or at home.  You likely pay attention to your bills and bank balance, to your tasks at work, to the needs of kids or older relatives, and much more, all on a daily basis.  Your responsibility to yourself—your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being—may take more conscious effort.  And can be challenging as hell!  Just when you feel like you’re making progress in one area of life, another may be troubling you.  For instance, you’ve worked through some difficult emotions recently—but you gained 10 pounds.  Or you’re good physically, but an addiction has reared its head…again.  Or all your “tasks” are taken care of, but you feel disconnected from your Higher Power and those around you.  You get the idea.  Everyone struggles, at one time or another, with this kind of balance, this type of “wellness dance.”

Remember this:  Every time you treat yourself well, you give yourself the message that you are worthy.

When I arrived home, I found some wonderful meditative quotes had been sent my way, which served to keep the gentle ponderings alive, and allowed for a healthy transition back to daily life.  So in the spirit of loving oneself, and pondering life’s lessons, I want to share a few favorites with you:

“The best we can give each other is our love—not our advice, and certainly not our judgment.”

“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.”

“Everything that annoys us about others can help us understand ourselves.”

“The cheapest facelift is a laugh.”

And until next time, “Being, not doing, is my first joy.”  (Theodore Roethke)

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.”