Chattanooga Pulse

I always bristle a bit at this kind of phrase: Do the right thing.  It is totally subjective and inevitably laced with judgment.  Who is the one to say if this or that is the “right thing” to do?   The “right thing” for whom, and under what condition?  Is what’s right for me also right for you and vice-versa?  Where are such teachings learned and, if learned in childhood, do the same things qualify as “right” in adulthood?

Many find their moral blueprint in the Bible or Torah, or in teachings from the Buddha or Allah serving as guides for the right thing to do.  Some use guidance from their Higher Power through other sources; AA and similar recovery programs come to mind.  Others rely simply on what their parents or guardians, teachers, preachers, and other elders taught them during the wonder years, amended as needed by personal life lessons and experience, from significant others, friends, and sought-out mentors.

Some of the more literal rights and wrongs are clearly delineated by society.  It’s wrong to run a red light.  It’s right to avoid knocking over pedestrians with our vehicles.  Most moral rights and wrongs are pretty clear, too, although follow-through is sometimes an iffy thing.  If someone is hurt, help out.  If someone drops their bag of groceries, help out.  If a friend is in crisis, help out.

Of course there are those—especially here in the Bible Belt—who will say, “Just follow the Bible, that’s all the right and wrong you need to know.”  OK, that may work for you.  But when it comes to a personal moral code, people have to use what works for them, what has meaning and significance to them.  Otherwise, it’s just lip service.  We’ll follow the moral road map that intrinsically rings true.

H’mm…perhaps what we’re really talking about here is “personal responsibility.”  Maturity requires it.  So does sound mental health, as not living up to one’s responsibility breeds a guilty conscience, self-denial, and a trail of unnecessary baggage.  A good friend recently took personal global responsibility by traveling to Haiti to help the earthquake survivors.  Another friend donated most of his life savings to myriad charities.  Someone else I know has taken a public stand against intolerance and oppression.

I came across an interesting talk by author and motivational speaker, Kimberly Alyn.  It’s called “Up Time,” and offers some solid, helpful reminders about personal responsibility.  I want to share with you an excerpt from her talk, and no matter what your inspirational source of morality might be, I think you’ll find the following includes useful wisdom and plenty of common sense.

1. If you see injustice, stand up.
2. If something needs to be said, speak up.
3. If you make an appointment, show up.
4. If you make a mistake, fess up.
5. If you’re overstepping, back up.
6. If you get behind, catch up.
7. If they knock you down, get up.
8. If you’re out of line, straighten up.
9. When your elders speak, listen up.
10. When the fight is over, make up.
11. If your heart is closed, open up.
12. If you make a mess, clean it up.
13. If you drop trash, pick it up.
14. If people fall down, help them up.
15. If your words are vulgar, clam it up.
16. If your words encourage, keep it up.
17. If you made a promise, back it up.
18. When life’s boring, shake it up.
19. When life’s good, soak it up.
20. When life’s unfair, suck it up.
22. When life’s funny, yuck it up.

Until next time, from Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Energy of Prayer, “Everything inside and around us wants to reflect itself in us.  We don’t have to go anywhere to obtain the truth.  We only need to be still and things will reveal themselves in the still water of our heart.”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.”  Visit his new wellness center, Well Nest, at www.WellNestChattanooga.com, and his website at www.DrRPH.com.